i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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