he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
