I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Please, let me fuck your mom
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Boobs are out for the taking
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
