Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Randomize
