no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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