Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
false alarm, still single
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
