I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
