8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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