but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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