12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
