i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize