So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
