his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
