I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
