Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
