White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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