I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
