i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
