curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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