So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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