I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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