I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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