3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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