happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I need water and some morals
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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