After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
