I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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