Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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