She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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