please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
