So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Randomize
