just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
