Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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