I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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