Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize