drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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