She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
