that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
