absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
