yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
