Already got asked if we're dating
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
