Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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