We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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