We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
