At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Buhtt sex?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
