just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
