Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
This house was built for laser tag.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
