Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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