The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
