i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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