she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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