no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
