YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
