I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
