just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
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