best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
