THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
