just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
