so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
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