It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
We got so high we made milksteak
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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