HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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