I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
