So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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