After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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