you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
