dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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