Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
then he tried to convert me to islam
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
