Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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